The Most Frustrating thing you can say to someone dealing with depression and/or anxiety...

I'm sure we all know someone who appears to be sad or down all the time. Facial expressions, body language, social media posts... all dead giveaways. The first thing you say to them is "oh it's not that bad", "you'll be fine" "be positive" or my personal favorite "there's always someone who has it worse" . Thank you captain obvious for making that completely irrelevant but true statement. 

There are millions of people with worse problems than what I or they may be dealing with. But did it ever occur to you that saying that to someone isn't going to make them feel anything less upset about what they have going on? What do they care about what Brad in Iowa is upset or depressed over? It doesn't make the problems that they wake up with everyday hurt any less. 

People are so quick to have the solutions to everyone's problems when the only true solution is to be understanding and supportive. Sometimes all these people want or need is someone to let them vent and get some weight off of their shoulders. Most people put up fronts like everything is fine but inside are begging for the help that their mouths won't allow them to ask for. Usually for the reasons listed above, these people won't try and confide in friends or family because they seem to make things worse with dismissive comments or attitudes so they end up holding it in and suffering in silence. 

It's true, thinking positive is something these people could stand to do. It definitely would make things better but don't you think they're trying to do that?Or have done that? Do you know how hard it is for someone who sufferers from anxiety or depression or both to form clear and rational thoughts? It's extremely hard to do. Mood swings are also apart of the equation which make things more fun (in the most sarcastic tone possible). 

This isn't designed to be a pity piece, or a "feel sorry for me" type deal, simply a means of understanding. In order to understand how these folks think you must be able to understand their mindset and what goes into it. It's HARD for someone who's depressed to "be happy" all the time or even some of the time. Hell, some days it take every ounce of strength they have just to get up out of bed and be productive. 

Most of these people are taking steps on their own to try and combat their problems. Whether it be seeking out professional help, medication, or other means they deem necessary. Others might be struggling to find their way or don't have the courage or have too much pride to seek help. So rather than dismiss their problems as "not that bad" just be understanding and listen. Sometimes that's all they need. They don't expect you to have the answers to their problems. Sometimes they just need an ear to listen to them. 

They already feel some kind of way about themselves, don't add too it by making them feel like their problems aren't important.

Inside the mind of an overthinker.

Overthinking is a side effect, or rather, symptom of depression and anxiety. All three go hand in hand. Once you experience one the other two aren't far behind. All three are a part of the mental illness family and I'm sure seeing that word, mental illness, caused you to raise an eyebrow. When you hear or think mental illness you think "crazy" right? Well when referring to a schizophrenic or bipolar diagnosis you're technically not far off but there's much more to the topic than just simply being "crazy". It's way deeper than that. 

Let me provide an example. You remember that time you got a text from that guy or girl you like and you immediately sent it to your best friend and said "oh my god idk what he/she means? Does he/she like me? And then you went on to spend the next thirty minutes, the next hour, the next however long trying to get to the bottom of this message you got? Congratulations, you now know what it's like to overthink something. Now imagine feeling that same feeling every day about everything all the time. Sounds exhausting right? Well it is. It's extremely exhausting, and draining, and frustrating and any other negative emotion you couple possibly attach it. To put it simply, it sucks. 

Trust issues are a major trigger for overthinking. If you find it hard to trust people fully or at all, it's easy to try and find lies in anything people say to you. The biggest trigger of all is fear. The fear of failing, fear of being hurt, fear of  feeling like you don't measure up to someone else's standards, or your own for that matter. 

One of the worst feelings in life is to constantly feel like you're being played with or lied to by everyone. No matter whether they gave you reason to doubt them or not somehow you always find yourself feeling like you're not being told everything you need to know in every situation you find yourself in. It's a lonely and miserable feeling always thinking to yourself "what am I missing?" "What are they not saying?". This is not something you can just stop either. It becomes a trained response after awhile. As soon as something happens your mind takes off at 100 MPH and goes for what seems like infinity. Not to mention the physical toll it takes on you. 

The emotions it invokes are so intense it literally drains you. Drains you of your overall mood, your appetite, your energy, your will. Anger, sadness, regret, confusion, frustration, sadness all become amplified. You become a prisoner inside your own mind with seemingly no way out. No matter how hard you try to remain calm and level headed but it just doesn't work. I've read there are ways to try and combat this behavior and to put it frankly it's easier said than done. Things like thinking of the positives, giving yourself a timeline in which to come to think about things and come to a decision, not second guessing. All sound good on paper but actually training yourself to use these methods is the real challenge. 

I'll give you a personal example. A few years back I found myself in a situation in which I knew I wasn't being given all the facts. Pieces of the story weren't adding up or making sense, the overthinking kicked in and sent me into detective mode. I drove myself nearly insane trying to find the answers I was so desperately seeking. Until that is, I went searching for those answers, and found EXACTLY what I was looking for. It's one thing to have an idea of the truth in your mind but to actually see it it's 100 times worse than any thought can ever be. I made  myself literally sick. It ruined me. I made a secret promise to myself to never let that happen to me again. Never to allow myself to get that far gone to put myself in that position ever again. And I haven't. 

At the risk of repeating myself on anything we'll end it here. Hope you appreciate the "behind the scenes" look into the mind of an overthinker. Probably a lot darker and deeper than you imagined it could ever be. But then again, so is life. 

Fastlane 2017: Smart or mistake?

This past Sunday I gathered around the television with friends and watched the WWE pay per view, a tradition that has been ongoing since 2014. This time it was the Raw brand pay per view Fastlane. Fastlane is a brand new pay per view that debuted in 2015 in Memphis, Tennessee. My buddy Ryan and I made the six and a half hour drive from Kentucky to watch in person and it did not disappoint. This past Sunday’s version however, did just that.

It was about 10:40 PM and the women’s championship match had just ended. I immediately began to sense a squash about to happen. Now it’s time for the main event. Both superstars made their entrances and then Kevin Owens exited the ring and began to pace the outside. It was then brought to my attention by the broadcast team that the bell had not yet rung (insert eye roll here). Owens then enters the ring, taunts Goldberg, and demands the bell to be rung. Then somewhat predictably, Chris Jericho’s music hits. The camera pans to the stage to him walking out into the arena, the camera pans back to Owens who is beside himself at the sight of his former best friend, and THEN the bell rings. Owens’ attention then shifts back to his opponent who charges forward and hits his signature spear, and then lifts the champion up over his head for his finisher, the jackhammer. Cover. One, two, three.

I had shifted from the TV to my iPhone at this point and as soon as the bell rung I double tapped my home button and closed the WWE app. Why squash your champion in that fashion? I was thinking we’d get a Lesnar run in to cost Goldberg the match putting more heat on their match heading into their April 2 bout at WrestleMania 33. Instead WWE chose to put the championship on their star part timer going into the Show of Shows. We have a match that wasn’t going to be great to begin with now being contested for a championship that neither competitor needs. That match could have done without the title and still have great meaning, but in typical WWE fashion they over thought their booking.

Am I shocked that Goldberg is the Universal champion? No. Am I shocked at the outside interference? No. The only thing I actually am shocked about is the fact they had Kevin Owens job to Goldberg. He deserves much better for the way he’s helped to carry Raw since winning his title in August. It seems they’re preparing us for another four to six months of bi-weekly or monthly champion appearances until either SummerSlam or Night of Champions where either man drops the title to someone else (presumably Owens, Balor, or Rollins if healthy). I really don’t care to see that again. WWE has made it clear they don’t care what we, or I think though. Share your thoughts with me below! 

Saving the Roman Empire

One of the most puzzling things I’ve seen as of late on WWE television is the creative team’s utter botching of Roman Reigns character. By now you’ve seen a dozen and a half articles about how WWE is (or depending on who you ask, isn’t) booking him. At this point there is no need to rehash any of that. What we can and will focus on today is something I’ve picked up on in recent months and that is the fact there are other superstars on the rosters who are flourishing in the role that would be perfect for Roman’s character.

Exhibit A: none other than Smackdown Live’s own Baron Corbin. The Lone Wolf went on a war path destroying “little guys” a couple months back leading up to a brief feud with Kalisto. That isn’t the part that caught my eye though, it was how he was doing it. He talked very little and when he did he was straight to his point, and then he proceeded to carry out his mission by dominating his opponents relentlessly. Corbin also has victories over many of the elites on Smackdown Live such as Dean Ambrose and AJ Styles.

Now let’s look at exhibit B: the newest member of the Monday Night Raw roster, Samoa Joe. In his case he began his main roster debut by shelving one of the hottest superstars on the brand in Seth Rollins. There is no better way to get your career off to a hot start than to take out a former multiple time world champion. Similar to Corbin, Joe speaks very little (but pretty well when he does speak) gets straight to his point then proceeds to dominate his competition in brutal fashion (see his most recent dismantling of Sami Zayn on last week’s episode of Raw). 

Now for my point: both of these guys are flourishing in a role that is PERFECT for Roman Reigns. The question is, why doesn’t the creative team realize this or the better question, do they care? It seems WWE upper management is hell bent on us liking Roman whether we want to or not. Roman should have been turned over a year ago and allowed to make his way on his own by doing his favorite thing: kicking ass. Instead, we are still being force fed something we showed that we didn’t want in Philly two years ago. He would thrive in a role similar to these two guys as his mic work leaves more to be desired and his in ring work could still use some fine tuning. I feel like if they continue down this path, that they are going to ruin him permanently. On the other hand, I also do not feel that it’s too late for him. I still have faith that the Roman Empire can be salvaged, if given the right role.  . It’s just up to WWE creative to realize this as well. What are your thoughts? Drop a comment below and let’s talk!