This has been one of the more interesting weeks in my life. So many things have happened that i would have never thought possible. So many things i've seen that are par for the course. That being said you'll have to bare with me as I most likely with be all over the map here. Its actually an accurate description of the inside of my mind. Anyways, here we go. . .
Another black human being was taken from us, live on camera, for the world to see, and his killer(s) will presumably get off scott free with full pension. How many times have we been here already? How many more times will we be back here, in this moment, having these same feelings and thoughts? This time was different though. Almost immediately the country had had enough and began to voice their displeasure very abruptly and loudly. It was so different. This time though, it wasn't just people of color who were upset and distraught, there were also people who aren't minorities that were right there voicing their displeasure. I can honestly say this is the first time in a long time where i've felt large sections of this country have been united.
Despite the president's attempts to try and drive a wedge in between us, we haven't allowed ourselves to get distracted from the iissues at hand. For that i am proud and optimistic (something i struggle mightily with. seriously, ask my friends).
Now that that's out of the way, lets get to the reason why I brought you all here.
In regards to the protests, riots, and looting. I'm all for the peaceful protesting of the killing of people of color at the hands of the police, the very people who took an oath to serve and protect, yet spend more time trying to disturb and collect. I say that to say, I don't agree with the destruction of property and looting. I do not think it's productive to the overall message and movement that is trying to be pushed out to the world. At the same time I don't subscribe to the idea of telling people how to react or how to feel when things that are traumatic happen to them. It's simple physics really. "For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction."So yes while you or I may not agree with it we also do not get to judge those who may have different reactions to things that are deemed traumatic. Keep that in mind you or anyone you know forms the thoughts in your mind to condemn the protesters that take that course of action.
The second thing i take issue with is the constant changing of the narrative by non people of color. People love leaning on that "it's disrespectful to the flag" bullshit to try and make their case. Jesus people for the final time IT IS NOT ABOUT THE FLAG OR THE MILITARY. It never has been and never will be. It has been and always will be about stopping systemic racism and police brutality. But sadly the masses won't get that until they're the ones with the sped up heart rates when the police get behind them in traffic and/or pull them over. Or they are the ones being pulled from their homes, or their cars, or ran up on in their houses and being brutalized and killed like many of us have been over the last 400 years. And even then I suspect some of you would STILL try and make excuses.
I fell asleep last night and forgot most of the things I wanted to say so I'll just close with this... I have had so many people express their love and support of me in the last week. Comments on my posts, personal messages, DMs on social media. Many of them people I don't regularly talk to but have had interactions in the past. To all of you I simply say, thank you, and I love you. With so much hate in the world it's nice to know I am present in the thoughts and minds of people. You don't know how much that means to me.
The President is threatening to unleash the military onto the citizens of this country for protesting against the injustices that that same government is exacting upon its citizens. What a fucking time. "when the looting starts, the shooting starts." This is the man you people voted for and wanted to lead us. As you can see, he has done such a fine job of that. If in the fall of this year any of you that voted for him in 2016 plan to vote for him again so this type of tyrannical behavior can continue just know that you and I will be moving on separate paths going forward. I'm not tagging you in any posts, I wont be bashing you, I will however just distance myself from you. It's got to be that way. I won't say it again so if you're in that group and choose not to read this then this is your one and only heads up.
Often times I visualize myself being the one murdered at the hands of police and I wonder.. What kinds of things would be said about me to try and dirty my name and my reputation to justify the reason the cops felt "threatened" to use excessive force on me. The immediate thought after that is who would be on the front lines defending me and making it known that I am not the person they are trying to paint me as. These are just thoughts though. I am a thinker. It's what I do in my spare time.
I don't fear for my life that much but I am 100% mindful of how I move and my surroundings. If I get got then just know I did everything I could to preserve my life. My black life. Because it matters.
Thank you for reading.
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